Monday, February 8, 2010

''You can't change what you don't acknowledge.''

I can't say that what I've gone through in the past month won't or
hasn't changed my life. It by far, absolutely has. I have had the
chance to take a step back to review the 7 years, 5 of which was a
marriage, that I spend with the person that I loved. I am learning
that I should have acknowledged the things that I wanted to change at
the time. However, I did look at every event as just another bump in
the road. I wasn't going to let something that could be forgotten
change my hopes, goals, and dreams. Unfortunetly those things have
changed. I can no longer dwell on what makes everyone else happy. I'm
beginning to realize that if I want myself to be happy, I may have to
let some people down. I can hope that they don't hold my decisions
against me, because if they truley care about ME, they won't.
I now have to make decisions based off of what is best for myself and
most importantly, my two sons.
I have left my husband, for reasons that no longer matter. I live
close to family and old friends who are here for me...and let me tell
you, it's a wonderful feeling.
If you know me, then you know that I tend to plan out
everything...down to my childrens due dates, even before conception.
When all of your plans straight up SUCKS! Knowing now that
I could have acknowledged certain things that would soon change my
'plans'...makes me realize that I need to take each day as it comes
and not waste so much time stressing and being a worry body. I am
become 'me' now...slowly but surely. Not exactly planning everything
out, but continuing to work towards my goals and what I want, one day
at a just one thing that makes ME happy. Seeing my small
children grow and change and enjoying the careless childhood that I
miss myself is just one more reason to smile.
I didn't really make any new years resolutions...and never really
have. So, I've been about some new life resolutions:
1-Smile everyday. 2-Dont worry about what everyone else thinks. 3-Stop
dwelling in the past. 4-Do everything in the world to keep my kids
happy and healthy. 5-Keep MYSELF hapy and healthy!
So here is to a new me, a new day, a new week, a new month, a new
year, and new life.

(p.s. I am posting from my hopefully this works!)

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